Monday, December 12, 2011

Reid - the most disappointing bike ever


this bike has shot to number one
on the list of world's most disappointing bikes.
quite an achievement when you consider how
ubiquitous the competition is
terk, ginat, sttoc, sepcialized, merdia, slury,
and other names too boring to recall
let alone spoonerise.
and yet the ried has beaten them all.
how?
is it so especially awful?
no, an S-wanks trihard bike is easily more offensive.
is it crabon?
no, it's probably made of metal.
how do they do it then?

the thing that keeps me turning my head to check them out
then turning away once I recognise them
is the cuckoo-like parody of a 1970s road bike.
it must be the silver crankset of modest proportions that does it,
they certainly don't have a completely horizontal top tube
although from some angles I've been fooled into looking twice.
it's that they promise something exciting
in ones peripheral vision
then let one down so completely with their
Chinese
utterly mass-produced
frighteningly cheap
disposability.

we're in another bike boom
and this is the Peugeot U08 of 2011.
but
will there be any nostalgia for the Redi Condor
and it's free pump (VALUE $35) and its
free water bottle (VALUE $20)
and its
all quality Shimano componants Shimano is highly regarded as the worlds best when it comes to quality bicycle gearing
when it all falls apart?
how soon will we see it on hard rubbish?

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